A helpful tip...

You know how every season there's one manager who signs a player and then that player, regardless of how they were playing, starts to play like shit. Or the one who sells a player and then that player starts scoring like a madman. The thing to do in these cases is to keep an eye on the manager's transfers - bring in the players they drop and get rid of the players they buy - and usually I am the idiot that everyone keeps an eye on.

But not any more.

This season, you need to keep an eye on one person and one person only.

Michael Rakison

Why? Very simple. Two words. Dean Ashton. The season hasn't even started and my father has a crocked player as his star striker.

Laugh? I nearly shat.